The Addams Family

Dochtertje Wednesday probeert butler Lurch enthousiast te krijgen voor het jaarlijkse butler's ball...

Wednesday: "It'll be fun."
Lurch: "I like being miserable."
Wednesday: "You might find a nice girl to be miserable with!"

The Big Bang Theory

Wie zegt dat theoretisch natuurkundigen geen gevoel voor humor hebben?

Barry Kripke: "Heeey Hofstadter!"
Leonard Hofstadter: "Hi Kripke."
Barry Kripke: "Heard about your latest anti-proton decay experiment. Twenty thousand data ones and no statistically significant results. Very impressive!"
Howard Wolowitz: "What a jerk!"
Raj Koothrappali: "Don't feel bad Leonard. Negative results are still results."
Howard Wolowitz: "Even twenty thousand of them."

Horizon

Aanrader voor ego's met weinig twijfels.

Over asteroïden: "It is only a matter of time before the Earth is hit again."

Over klimaatverandering: "A growing number of experts fear Britain could be heading for a climate like Alaska."

Over 'freak waves': "These are not tsunamis or tidal waves, but huge breaking walls of water that come out of the blue. Waves the height of an office block."

En over supervulkanen: "Only a handful exist in the world but when one erupts it will be unlike any volcano we have ever witnessed."

Malcolm in the Middle

Malcolm is hoogbegaafd én een beetje depressief: "Sleeping is the only thing that makes my life worthwhile. I can dream I'm somewhere decent."

The Simpsons

Homer doet wel vaker domme dingen, maar dit is een van die uiterst zeldzame momenten dat hij wéét dat hij zich in de nesten heeft gewerkt. Homer: "I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me Superman!"

Star Trek Enterprise

Dr. Phlox: "It's unethical to harm a patient. However, I can inflict as much pain as I like."

Star Trek Voyager

B'Elanna Torres: "The Borg wouldn't know fun if they assimilated an amusement park."

Third Rock from the Sun

Sally: "Did you loose weight?"
Dick: "No, even better: I bought bigger pants!"